Crazy Martha was our neighbor when we lived with Granny Mac for a little while.
Of course, Granny wouldnāt let us call her Crazy Martha. We called her Ms. Marthaā¦in front of Granny.
Iām not even sure where to begin. She did so much nutty stuff itās hard to pick one thing so this isnāt a five mile long story. I guess Iāll start where her crazy started.
I asked Granny once why she did such weird things. Granny told me that in her younger years, Ms. Martha was a nurse. I had only known her when she was already aging and grey.
Granny told me she was married and when she was in her early or mid twenties, she and her husband got into a bad car wreck. Her husband died and she had tried to save him. After that, she just kinda went off the deep end.
I always thought that was so sad.
Some of the things Ms. Martha did were things that she probably should have been institutionalized for, or even arrested.
While I try and decide which thing to tell first, Iāll tell you about how Granny treated her.
Granny always bought extra cans of soup when she went shopping. Ms. Martha apparently really liked soup. She would come over and buy the soup from Granny. I remember Granny taking coins.
When she would leave, Granny would say that the soup cost more but in Marthaās mind, it didnāt. So she took what she gave her.
Ms. Martha would come and ask to use the phone. Back in those days, the phones were hooked to the wall. And a lot of them were still rotary phones.
Granny would tell us girls to not say anything about her being dirty or smelling. To be polite. Better yet, make ourselves scarce and go play.
When she would leave, Granny would get out the Lysol and wipe the phone and anything else she touched down. It was that bad. If Febreeze was invented back then, Granny probably wouldāve bought stock in it.
One day, a man from the phone company came. He said he would like to use our phone to call his office. He was installing a phone at Ms. Marthaās. That mightāve been after she sicked her dogs on me and Granny wouldnāt let her come back over. I canāt recall.
Anyway, Granny smiled and knowingly asked if heād like to take a break for a little while at our house. She brought him something to drink.
When he called the office, he told them about the mess she lived in and the dog poop everywhere inside. He said it wasnāt a kid weāre installing the phone for. An old lady ordered that Mickey Mouse phone!
Someone came and mowed her back yard once. I really canāt recall but it seems like Granny and Mom had talked about she was gonna have a fine from the city if she didnāt have it done.
Iām not sure who told Granny or Mom but I can remember them saying there were dead puppies and it didnāt look like they died on their own. I donāt think they really wanted to talk too much in front of us kids.
One day, I was out in the yard playing and she asked where my sister was. I said she was inside doing her homework. She sicked her dogs on me. Iāll tell the whole story later at another time. I had nightmares and was scared of strange dogs for years. And I love dogs!
I guess the other thing that was the craziest thing (besides that) was about the time the mailman came and told Granny she was waiting for himā¦butt naked!
The mailmen there walked the neighborhood delivering mail. He comes up to her house and sheās in a lounge chair on the front stoop.
She was covered in newspapers. When he walked up, she uncovered herself right in front of him and declared,āIāve been waiting for you!ā
I can remember when Mom got home from work, we were at the supper table and Granny said,
“Youāll NEVER guess what Martha did to the mailman!ā
Until next time, take care of the people you love and don’t forget to make a few memories worth telling.
Take a Little Piece of the Story With You
Enjoyed Crazy Martha’s adventure? I turned a little of the fun into a 3-page printable set with coloring pages and a place to record a memory of your own.
See the $1.99 Crazy Martha printable ā
Grab a cup of coffee and stay a while āā¦
A few more stories you may like are coming soon
When the Spirit Left Me
The Front Pew ( church stories and resources)
Are you hungry š“ā¦
A few recipes you may like are coming soon
Candied Turnips
Loaded Baked Potato Soup
Pull up a chair šŖā¦
Around here, stories are meant to be shared. Do you have a memory of a crazy neighbor? Or a funny one? I’d love to hear about it!